June 29, 2007

Why.

Do i feel judged. Do i see your displeasure. Do i feel animosity rising.

Do:

I owe a living to you. Or conscience prehaps. I question you? Or doubt you?

If not. Then...

Maybe it'd be nostalgic to see me from your eyes. Trying to put measures unto people. Why dost thou analyse me so? I needn't prove anything to thee. why the need to impose jurisdictions on another who is equally free as thee?

So what if to you i achieve nothing tantamount to what u would regard your own brand of success. So what if i am not the success you are? what grants you the urge to correct me? is it love? sympathy? or dominance. So what if for this whole life i remain optimistic and poor. So what if i scrim and save to stay boderline happy. This is my slippery slope to tackle. Let me.

Even if i wasnt paid. that can be put aside. i never insinuated the need for financial help from you. you wanted help. i gave it. i got nothing much in return really. maybe i am one of few. but if u can win my heart over as a friend its yours. I know i'm not getting paid. i keep quiet.

So what if interest is lost. so what if u have a girlfriend. so what if i will never be like you in the ways that would interest you so. So what if u think your brand of insensitive kindness is virtuous. Some kindnesses are better left dormant. Believe this.

Maybe u obliviously crossed a line. Come on. It was there. You know it was.

Never ask me to shave nor shame me in front of other people over my facial hair ever again.

I will not hesitate to burn bridges.

You want to coerce and traumatise something, kindly channel all that inertia unto something else. Like a certain company somebody works for. Pride comes before a fall. Even for self proclaimed intellectuals.

Rawr.