RT. Tests. Marketing Project to hand up. Getting more freelancing offers for IT. Moving. Momentum. Pumping stats. Washing last buckets of clothes. Change teases. Build. Repair. Reinforce. Much goes into self revolution. Thinking of those I've met. Those I will meet. Those that I will never again.
This is good. I like it.
Yet her i still miss. Yearn. Be breathless over.
Cuddle me. Embrace me. The warmth of our lips, pounding our hearts, exciting our lungs, exhilarating our limbs, escalating urge tears down walls we've built, asunder, tingling touch, art thou forlorn? To be Loved. Accepted. Whole again. I want it.
For now. Patience. Whilst my rejuvenate.
Asphyxiate.
February 27, 2007
February 06, 2007
Baby Ben.
I am convinced the guy's a Grade A asshole. Went out with Janan and Victor today to do some Chinese New Year shopping. Janan was late so I was stuck with Victor for a good 20mins(which was far too long).
You think i wanted to go out with u meh. lol. Nevermind. Cast the first stone eh. Game on.
Tried talking to the guy but got that really fucked up attitude.
Why did u have to call and be impatient and rude when Janan already informed me. Nevermind. Don't think i'll give u a chance at any remotely positive change period. Forget about going out dude. Quarantine yourself at best. Stop being a social hazard. Yes u were rude. Very. and if all 23yrs of your life you're unable to detect nor rectify that. Then maybe you need to study from primary school again. get reacquainted with juvenile mentalities. Hopefully it isn't too much trauma. Don't let those kids pwn you.
I thought things were fine cause last week when the guys came over to celebrate my birthday, I could talk to Victor without any animosity. But today while we were alone, the fucker gave that obnoxious high and mighty attitude.
You need lessons in embracing friendship. You also need to shape the way to talk to people. "oh sorry, I'm ben., I'm like that. I don't see the need to refine any part of me for any one i know. Its me. You have to accept it" Good Luck then. Explains everything. Thats right. And to think you want pussy somemore. How la u tell me. Give up.
I know the dick only does it to me.
You are the only acquaintance who brazenly does this 10 years after knowing someone. Try triggering your own change before u expect people to spontaneously respond to you positively. Oh yes, did i mention maybe you need to try the prior before u expect the latter? Oh. disclaimer clause then. Want to laminate this put big big in your room? (i actually have to point it out to you)
Perhaps he feels that with a longer academic history than mine, it's justified for him to do so.
Nah. actually if you do the math right. You have in total the longest education history. Something must be wrong somewhere. You? Or the education? Choose.
I've got two words for you Victor. F-U-C-K Y-O-U! The only reason why I put up with your shit is because I didn't want to jeopardise my friendship with Dom and Janan.
Wanna know why all of you will never jeopardise me? Cause it can't. Noobs keep friendships through tolerating crap just because they naively think thats the way it should be. Maybe Janan wants to side you out of pity. Dominic clearly knows better. Okay lor. how much pity can there be before he gives up to. Ponder ponder. Please la. First you send logs then u blog? Dom thinks we have a problem? No. WE dont have a problem. I just do. its called you. You have a problem too. Its similar to mine. Its you too.
You're just the unfortunate shit end that comes with that friendship. The dickhead pretended to accord me some respect only when Janan was around.
Actually i don't. Why would i need to accord u respect even. Janan knows i hate you. Cause i do. I think you might be abit deluded, because my respect for Janan is purely his. Not yours. Never will be, ever. Stop dreaming. Even if your delusional persona cant help feeling rubbed with respect, I am reconfirming with you, so you don't misunderstand. And wait wait, you better double check the definition of friendship too. Sure u fit the criteria?(my own opinion of course, unless the 2 of them ponder about this too)
But during the times when Janan was elsewhere and we were left alone, the fucker pretended I was invisible.
You should be. Clearly u don't understand by now, that i never bother resorting to mind games with acquaintances.
Honestly Victor, do you think I give a crap about your opinions towards me? NEWSFLASH! I couldn't give a rat's ass about it. You can jolly well rot in hell for all I care.
Newsflash. You already ARE rotting. I'm the salt disinfecting you. Janan's the warm bandage around the wound that is you. Guess what happens to wounds not disinfected and wrapped with bandage. Over time they continue to rot. Your friends arent the ones that molly coddle you and feed your delusional presumptions of this world. Wake up your fucking idea. Doesn't matter if you care ben. You never did. And proven, you never will either. What matters is whoever reads this can glean something from it.
Grow up out of whatever childhood trauma u think is afflicting you. I have. For someone who hates u so much. And abhors any core of you. I still believe you can. You just have no faith in yourself have you. The way u talk, the way u carry your mannerisms. Enough. You want to say something, say it. Don't go around people and try being self righteous first. All of me will bring you down for that.
Watch.
You think i wanted to go out with u meh. lol. Nevermind. Cast the first stone eh. Game on.
Tried talking to the guy but got that really fucked up attitude.
Why did u have to call and be impatient and rude when Janan already informed me. Nevermind. Don't think i'll give u a chance at any remotely positive change period. Forget about going out dude. Quarantine yourself at best. Stop being a social hazard. Yes u were rude. Very. and if all 23yrs of your life you're unable to detect nor rectify that. Then maybe you need to study from primary school again. get reacquainted with juvenile mentalities. Hopefully it isn't too much trauma. Don't let those kids pwn you.
I thought things were fine cause last week when the guys came over to celebrate my birthday, I could talk to Victor without any animosity. But today while we were alone, the fucker gave that obnoxious high and mighty attitude.
You need lessons in embracing friendship. You also need to shape the way to talk to people. "oh sorry, I'm ben., I'm like that. I don't see the need to refine any part of me for any one i know. Its me. You have to accept it" Good Luck then. Explains everything. Thats right. And to think you want pussy somemore. How la u tell me. Give up.
I know the dick only does it to me.
You are the only acquaintance who brazenly does this 10 years after knowing someone. Try triggering your own change before u expect people to spontaneously respond to you positively. Oh yes, did i mention maybe you need to try the prior before u expect the latter? Oh. disclaimer clause then. Want to laminate this put big big in your room? (i actually have to point it out to you)
Perhaps he feels that with a longer academic history than mine, it's justified for him to do so.
Nah. actually if you do the math right. You have in total the longest education history. Something must be wrong somewhere. You? Or the education? Choose.
I've got two words for you Victor. F-U-C-K Y-O-U! The only reason why I put up with your shit is because I didn't want to jeopardise my friendship with Dom and Janan.
Wanna know why all of you will never jeopardise me? Cause it can't. Noobs keep friendships through tolerating crap just because they naively think thats the way it should be. Maybe Janan wants to side you out of pity. Dominic clearly knows better. Okay lor. how much pity can there be before he gives up to. Ponder ponder. Please la. First you send logs then u blog? Dom thinks we have a problem? No. WE dont have a problem. I just do. its called you. You have a problem too. Its similar to mine. Its you too.
You're just the unfortunate shit end that comes with that friendship. The dickhead pretended to accord me some respect only when Janan was around.
Actually i don't. Why would i need to accord u respect even. Janan knows i hate you. Cause i do. I think you might be abit deluded, because my respect for Janan is purely his. Not yours. Never will be, ever. Stop dreaming. Even if your delusional persona cant help feeling rubbed with respect, I am reconfirming with you, so you don't misunderstand. And wait wait, you better double check the definition of friendship too. Sure u fit the criteria?(my own opinion of course, unless the 2 of them ponder about this too)
But during the times when Janan was elsewhere and we were left alone, the fucker pretended I was invisible.
You should be. Clearly u don't understand by now, that i never bother resorting to mind games with acquaintances.
Honestly Victor, do you think I give a crap about your opinions towards me? NEWSFLASH! I couldn't give a rat's ass about it. You can jolly well rot in hell for all I care.
Newsflash. You already ARE rotting. I'm the salt disinfecting you. Janan's the warm bandage around the wound that is you. Guess what happens to wounds not disinfected and wrapped with bandage. Over time they continue to rot. Your friends arent the ones that molly coddle you and feed your delusional presumptions of this world. Wake up your fucking idea. Doesn't matter if you care ben. You never did. And proven, you never will either. What matters is whoever reads this can glean something from it.
Grow up out of whatever childhood trauma u think is afflicting you. I have. For someone who hates u so much. And abhors any core of you. I still believe you can. You just have no faith in yourself have you. The way u talk, the way u carry your mannerisms. Enough. You want to say something, say it. Don't go around people and try being self righteous first. All of me will bring you down for that.
Watch.
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