Let me start by saying that there is plenty or wealth to go around for everyone. There is also plenty of misery to go around too. Why do these things matter? Because being aware of the workings of valuation, money, ownership (or lack thereof, or obsessions of) i hope, brings us to a higher level of consciousness.
If you subscribe to the idea that there is no 'need' to know, no 'value add' to your life experience as a soul amongst others, that karma is the be all and end all and human compunction does not exist, then turn away now.
If you believe there is more to life and consciousness than mere systems that try to limit, contain and control the human psyche and overwhelm it, then down the rabbit hole we will go.
Come.
June 21, 2013
March 18, 2013
Intermission.
Don't be sad.
You already know that life isn't about acquisition. Life's also about sharing with others, opening up to people who open up to you. Taking in the sights and sounds and stories of people that stumble your way. When all that has come to pass, you will have lived life fruitful, even if you had not sought to yield.
Life's a roadtrip. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words that are intended to hurt you, grant them no audience in the sanctuary of your mind. That space is reserved for better.
Sometimes we get hurt. How you take the hurt will define your personal experience in your life. You have to be willing to take the hurt and yet continue moving against the forces sent against you. Maybe life afterall, is about spiritual renewal. I would think so.
Be not intimidated by your weaknesses, they were made for you to overcome against. Wipe the blood from your nose, and laugh in the face of adversity. Is that all there is, O adversity? Fear and doubt begone. For they themselves know they fight losing battles with your consciousness,. Can you see all the endless possibilities you behold, alas you were made for so much more.
I see it.
And it is Beautiful.
Someday i will show that wonderful you to you, too.
Be heartened by your strengths. Beauty. Kindness. Peace. Love. Joy. Knowledge. Empowerment. Enthusiasm. Truth. Courage. Limitless possibilities. Be that positive infinity algorithm, even if for no one else, be it, for you.
I believe in you.
Yours Truly.
The Fatso.
You already know that life isn't about acquisition. Life's also about sharing with others, opening up to people who open up to you. Taking in the sights and sounds and stories of people that stumble your way. When all that has come to pass, you will have lived life fruitful, even if you had not sought to yield.
Life's a roadtrip. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words that are intended to hurt you, grant them no audience in the sanctuary of your mind. That space is reserved for better.
Sometimes we get hurt. How you take the hurt will define your personal experience in your life. You have to be willing to take the hurt and yet continue moving against the forces sent against you. Maybe life afterall, is about spiritual renewal. I would think so.
Be not intimidated by your weaknesses, they were made for you to overcome against. Wipe the blood from your nose, and laugh in the face of adversity. Is that all there is, O adversity? Fear and doubt begone. For they themselves know they fight losing battles with your consciousness,. Can you see all the endless possibilities you behold, alas you were made for so much more.
I see it.
And it is Beautiful.
Someday i will show that wonderful you to you, too.
Be heartened by your strengths. Beauty. Kindness. Peace. Love. Joy. Knowledge. Empowerment. Enthusiasm. Truth. Courage. Limitless possibilities. Be that positive infinity algorithm, even if for no one else, be it, for you.
I believe in you.
Yours Truly.
The Fatso.
March 12, 2013
Somewhere, Beyond the Sea...
Someone I knew on facebook asked me about overseas singaporeans and as usual, he got my feelers up.
So I went and dug up some "Population in Brief" statistics for the years 2011 and 2012.
In case you don't yet know, these statistics are easily available online nowadays.
Let me share my findings soon. Links are provided for your convenience.
 |
| This is found on page 28 of the report. |
 |
| This is found on page 32 of the report. |
March 11, 2013
Flamingo Lingo.
The unique pink of a flamingo comes from their diet of algae and shrimp with high levels of Carotenoid (gives carrots their orange hue) and effervesces red pigments after digestion.
Likewise, people come in 50 shades of grey. Some lighter, some darker.
This comes from their diet of knowledge, choice, opportunity and some say, life experience.
Alas, most people come only with one wing and most need to unify themselves with others before they fly right.
Some just prefer flapping harder alone, and hey, that works too.
(its flapping not fapping - get your mind out of the gutter!)
Which shade of
It is not known why flamingos stand on one leg.
It is thought to be the conservation of body heat in colder, deeper waters.
Apart from preventing muscle fatigue by alternation,
it also appears to bring some comfort during resting positions.
When it gets warmer, more are observed to stand on both legs.
But as it gets colder, more prefer using only one leg.
Well, sometimes I'm like that too.
Its just naturally more comfortable that way.
But i'm not withdrawing to conserve sanity and love for myself.
If you must know, its conserved for other flamingos I know.
March 10, 2013
Time isn't money, unless you're conscripted yo.
Top 30 politicians in Singapore from renumeration top down costs Singapore around $75,000,000.
½ of this amounts to $37,500,000.
Birth rates being 30,946 for 2012:
http://www.singstat.gov.sg/stats/themes/people/popinbrief2012a.pdf
½ being male, assume every male serves NS, thats 15,473 males.
$200/mth x 12 months = $2,400 more per NSF per year.
15,473 NSFs x $2,400 = $37,135,200.
Who says we can't express our gratitude for their conscription?
Bollocks I say.
½ of this amounts to $37,500,000.
Birth rates being 30,946 for 2012:
http://www.singstat.gov.sg/stats/themes/people/popinbrief2012a.pdf
½ being male, assume every male serves NS, thats 15,473 males.
$200/mth x 12 months = $2,400 more per NSF per year.
15,473 NSFs x $2,400 = $37,135,200.
Who says we can't express our gratitude for their conscription?
Bollocks I say.
March 09, 2013
Treason is the Reason
Some of us may already know this but i'll just go ahead articulating what i know and feel about this topic. Kindly forgive me in advance should I trespass on your beliefs should you know better.
So in Singapore theres something that befuddles me. Why the need to have 2.5% CPF interest rate returns and then have housing loans @ 2.6% interest? Why not just make it 0.0% CPF interest rates and 0.1% housing loans instead? $100,000 loan means $100 a year if its @ 0.1%.
0.1% interest per year? Thats fine. but 2.6% isn't.
Let's digest this in increments of $100,000.
===
By simple number pattern logic:
The 1st year's cumulative payment of your interest is about $2,600.
The 30th year's cumulative interest is almost $0.
So, 1st + 30th = $ 2,600
Since the 2nd year, you pay slightly below $2,600 (its around $2513.33)
and the 29th year you pay slightly more than $0 (its around $86.67)
their cumulative total is also around $2,600
So, 2nd + 29th = $2,600
We soon notice that every pair of years is around 2.6% of unavoidable interest recognized by the lending body (in this case, the government) as 'profit'. (More on this later)
So, for the duration of a 30 year loan, we have about 15 'pairs' of years.
That works out to be 15 x 2.6% = 39% interest.
For ease of calculation i shall just use 40%.
(once you add your housing insurance and what not, trust me you aren't far, and i have yet to include conservancy fees to the equation, i will speak more on this soon)
===
For the next few examples, i will use simpler math and more conservation approximations.
Yes, I am fully aware some of you will be able to pick out that i left out:
Wage increments over time (I prefer conservative estimates and will not hedge against the future)
Fixed housing costs (I prefer a general assessment of today's figures over prospective years)
Inflation (I shall bravely anticipate inflationary prices over time to neutralise wage increments)
So in short, if you:
borrow 100k , you pay 140k and bleed 40k interest over 30 years.
borrow, 200k, you pay 280k and bleed 80k interest over 30 years.
borrow 300k, you pay 420k and bleed 120k interest over 30 years.
borrow 400k, you pay 560k and bleed 160k interest over 30 years.
borrow 500k, you pay 700k and bleed 200k interest over 30 years.
This doesn't make sense to me whatsoever.
===
In the first place, 'public' housing, should not be pegged to 'open' market prices (in addition, property speculation of PUBLIC housing should not be encouraged the slightest bit for its inflative bubble, when endorsed, is difficult to undo) and becomes sensitive as sensitive issues come, when you inculcate a mentality of said property appreciation/speculation, see.
When the cost to build a public apartment is between 100k-150k, i believe what should be done, is to charge that, and that alone. That can easily be achieved by a working couple within 10 short years. No more interest gnawing and culling value from those who need that value to be some place else instead of ending up as an attrition of value, tis such a waste, really.
===
If a couple, together, take home 60k a year, current CPF rate of 20% employee contribution makes this annual figure $12,000. Given that what the employer contributes (15% as of now and more to come soon) more or less goes into Medisave Account (MA) and Special Account (SA), i will consider an employee's own contribution to primarily pay for the housing loan.
This way,
100k will take around: 100k / 12k = 8 years 4 months.
120k will take around: 120k / 12k = 10 years.
150k will take around: 150k / 12k = 12 years 6 months.
And thats it. You're done paying for accommodation, time to spend all those other aspects of value on things that are important, like self development, and having a resource cache for the raising of good quality children. (Yes kids are expensive nowadays, i will write in time to come about this)
Some of you are beginning to wonder about how the government could afford to build your current accommodations. And that's a good question. I do not know this myself, but i have a good hunch that it is off the very same CPF monies and interest rates that the generation before us has accrued them. So the position i am taking here is this:
===
If you've already made your money slowly but surely through housing, then its time to get to the social equity part of the deal that you as government is elected the sole purpose for, and not run autopilot capitalism and drive the rest of us into the ground with you and fall back on whatever ninja immunities you legislate yourselves in having so as to evade accountability. This much you owe the people.
I can only associate any other deviation from honorable intentions to help the people, for the sake of making a quick buck (or slow and painful and poisonous buck, if you will) from your people to be treacherous treason.
So you build 1 floor with 10 units @ 150k/unit, and allow them to be sold for 350k each.
1 floor = 10 x 350k = 3.5 Million.
20 floors = 70 Million.
Yes the money doesn't entirely go to the governemt, this i understand.
But you're playing devil's advocate charging 2.6% per annum on that 70 million that exchanges hands.
Over 30 years, your return on that 70 million is 40%. that to you is 'making' 28 million in profit.
That to the couples who need housing and monies rightly theirs, for starting the families you charge them to have, is robbery!
Should I add the profit made instantaneously so as to coerce couples to take huge loans in order to procure themselves accommodation, then its $200k profit per unit.
1 floor = $2 Million profit.
20 floors = $40 Million profit.
So you have 1000 of such blocks made because you think this makes you fast cash:
1 block = $40 million profit
1000 blocks = $40,000 million profit = $40 billion.
Total sum of interest accrued and considered as 'profit' if:
everyone takes a 10 year loan = 5 x 2.6 = 13% return = $5.2 Billion
everyone takes a 20 year loan = 10 x 2.6 = 26% return = $10.4 Billion
everyone takes a 30 year loan = 15 x 2.6 = 39% return = $15.6 Billion
Trickle economics at its worst, i say.
how many people can 1000 blocks made this way, house?
5(people/household) x 10(units per floor) x 20(floors) x 1000(blocks) =
200,000 couples or 1,000,000 people
So, potentially, our next $45-55 Billion in unjustly created 'profits' from retailing housing, this 'wealth' is coming from increasing population, and its no wonder why government conveniently thinks that way. How dark the con of man.
with 200,000 working couples earning $50k per household, collecting $10k per year:
in 30 years, you collect 300k in CPF monies per household.
200,000 households = $60 billion in CPF.
So the next 105-115 Billion over the next 30 years has already been made. you're fully in team 'Treason' now. Governance becomes easy. Blame the people for not having children, import more foreign labour. Try as best you can to change your cash inflow and deter the outflow by playing with peggings and once again hedging against your own citizenry. Q.E.D, right?
===
Time to audit Public Housing I say, and not a moment too soon!
===
Think for a second, isn't this what we now have?
150k apartments sold for 300k / 400k / 500k. Why the need to push up prices? This is why.
we could have the next generation happily sowing the firm foundations of the greater future but instead they are mired in debt due to unnecessary inflated prices that make you unwillingly COMMIT to then paying even more INTEREST on. Total allocation of resource failure imo.
The cost savings of charging at cost is tremendous:
(this, I reiterate, should already be the status quo but isn't)
So, for a unit sold @:
200k : Savings = 50k (direct profit) + 80k (interest on 300k over 30yrs) = 130k saved.
300k : Savings = 150k (direct profit) + 120k (interest on 300k over 30yrs) = 270k saved.
400k : Savings = 250k (direct profit) + 160k (interest on 400k over 30yrs) = 410k saved.
500k : Savings = 350k (direct profit) + 200k (interest on 400k over 30yrs) = 550k saved.
Presuming that 1 parent earns around 30k / year, that would translate to:
200k : 130k saved / 30k = 4 years 4 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
300k : 270k saved / 30k = 9 years 0 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
400k : 410k saved / 30k = 13 years 8 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
500k : 550k saved / 30k = 18 years 4 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
===
If we're as hyped up about increasing population, then we should be making it as scalable for couples as we can to both marry young, and at that end, increase the utility of child bearing years for a couple, we should be making things EASIER not HARDER, silly.
just taking the 300k-400k example.
(This incidentally is the more common situation most people find themselves in)
===
You can pretty much have 1 parent fully devote his/her time raising the kids, and have 9 - 13 full years doing family planning wholeheartedly, whilst still being able to 'economize' themselves in other endeavours, like self-education, cottage industry(baking/cooking), tuition, providing childcare services to your neighbours and so forth.
The idea is that instead of focusing on making money, we're focusing on meeting each others' needs. Can you imagine if this culture extends forth on a national level? What a marvel it will be, supplementing our needs as a country, and as countrymen!
10 years, my friends, 10 whole years!
Couples who marry at 20 have easily until 30 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
Couples who marry at 25 have easily until 35 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
Couples who marry at 30 still have easily until 40 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
Oh my, even couples who marry at 35 have until 45 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
(last example not so easy, biological clock me thinks, but nevertheless...)
Recipe for high birth rates? No outstanding loans. Even if there were a loan, interest rates must not and cannot undo couple's level of financial security and erode their savings.
Reducing societies need to rely on asset appreciation that will make us feel rich now on the backs of the next generation, that will ultimately mortgage their future for what will soon be considered unattainable 'past prosperity' in the near future.
The moment a government starts to fall into a web of self deceit and is complacent to the point that it knows it cannot guaranty future events and stability, the more it should not hedge its citizenry's future positions for you moult instead, into a government that gets distracted by profits instead of its rightful KPI: that of public service, rather, government slowly but surely evolves into a corporatocracy instead.
I feel this incessant pursuit, initially earnest and steadfast, is made perverse into a pursuit of delusions of grandeur where the few live so large for so long, at the expense of the many, who are left wanting.
Soon i shall write about the divider effect that in my opinion triumphs the misunderstood and misappropriated concept of the multiplier effect.
So in Singapore theres something that befuddles me. Why the need to have 2.5% CPF interest rate returns and then have housing loans @ 2.6% interest? Why not just make it 0.0% CPF interest rates and 0.1% housing loans instead? $100,000 loan means $100 a year if its @ 0.1%.
0.1% interest per year? Thats fine. but 2.6% isn't.
Let's digest this in increments of $100,000.
===
By simple number pattern logic:
The 1st year's cumulative payment of your interest is about $2,600.
The 30th year's cumulative interest is almost $0.
So, 1st + 30th = $ 2,600
Since the 2nd year, you pay slightly below $2,600 (its around $2513.33)
and the 29th year you pay slightly more than $0 (its around $86.67)
their cumulative total is also around $2,600
So, 2nd + 29th = $2,600
We soon notice that every pair of years is around 2.6% of unavoidable interest recognized by the lending body (in this case, the government) as 'profit'. (More on this later)
So, for the duration of a 30 year loan, we have about 15 'pairs' of years.
That works out to be 15 x 2.6% = 39% interest.
For ease of calculation i shall just use 40%.
(once you add your housing insurance and what not, trust me you aren't far, and i have yet to include conservancy fees to the equation, i will speak more on this soon)
===
For the next few examples, i will use simpler math and more conservation approximations.
Yes, I am fully aware some of you will be able to pick out that i left out:
Wage increments over time (I prefer conservative estimates and will not hedge against the future)
Fixed housing costs (I prefer a general assessment of today's figures over prospective years)
Inflation (I shall bravely anticipate inflationary prices over time to neutralise wage increments)
So in short, if you:
borrow 100k , you pay 140k and bleed 40k interest over 30 years.
borrow, 200k, you pay 280k and bleed 80k interest over 30 years.
borrow 300k, you pay 420k and bleed 120k interest over 30 years.
borrow 400k, you pay 560k and bleed 160k interest over 30 years.
borrow 500k, you pay 700k and bleed 200k interest over 30 years.
This doesn't make sense to me whatsoever.
===
In the first place, 'public' housing, should not be pegged to 'open' market prices (in addition, property speculation of PUBLIC housing should not be encouraged the slightest bit for its inflative bubble, when endorsed, is difficult to undo) and becomes sensitive as sensitive issues come, when you inculcate a mentality of said property appreciation/speculation, see.
When the cost to build a public apartment is between 100k-150k, i believe what should be done, is to charge that, and that alone. That can easily be achieved by a working couple within 10 short years. No more interest gnawing and culling value from those who need that value to be some place else instead of ending up as an attrition of value, tis such a waste, really.
===
If a couple, together, take home 60k a year, current CPF rate of 20% employee contribution makes this annual figure $12,000. Given that what the employer contributes (15% as of now and more to come soon) more or less goes into Medisave Account (MA) and Special Account (SA), i will consider an employee's own contribution to primarily pay for the housing loan.
This way,
100k will take around: 100k / 12k = 8 years 4 months.
120k will take around: 120k / 12k = 10 years.
150k will take around: 150k / 12k = 12 years 6 months.
And thats it. You're done paying for accommodation, time to spend all those other aspects of value on things that are important, like self development, and having a resource cache for the raising of good quality children. (Yes kids are expensive nowadays, i will write in time to come about this)
Some of you are beginning to wonder about how the government could afford to build your current accommodations. And that's a good question. I do not know this myself, but i have a good hunch that it is off the very same CPF monies and interest rates that the generation before us has accrued them. So the position i am taking here is this:
===
If you've already made your money slowly but surely through housing, then its time to get to the social equity part of the deal that you as government is elected the sole purpose for, and not run autopilot capitalism and drive the rest of us into the ground with you and fall back on whatever ninja immunities you legislate yourselves in having so as to evade accountability. This much you owe the people.
I can only associate any other deviation from honorable intentions to help the people, for the sake of making a quick buck (or slow and painful and poisonous buck, if you will) from your people to be treacherous treason.
So you build 1 floor with 10 units @ 150k/unit, and allow them to be sold for 350k each.
1 floor = 10 x 350k = 3.5 Million.
20 floors = 70 Million.
Yes the money doesn't entirely go to the governemt, this i understand.
But you're playing devil's advocate charging 2.6% per annum on that 70 million that exchanges hands.
Over 30 years, your return on that 70 million is 40%. that to you is 'making' 28 million in profit.
That to the couples who need housing and monies rightly theirs, for starting the families you charge them to have, is robbery!
Should I add the profit made instantaneously so as to coerce couples to take huge loans in order to procure themselves accommodation, then its $200k profit per unit.
1 floor = $2 Million profit.
20 floors = $40 Million profit.
So you have 1000 of such blocks made because you think this makes you fast cash:
1 block = $40 million profit
1000 blocks = $40,000 million profit = $40 billion.
Total sum of interest accrued and considered as 'profit' if:
everyone takes a 10 year loan = 5 x 2.6 = 13% return = $5.2 Billion
everyone takes a 20 year loan = 10 x 2.6 = 26% return = $10.4 Billion
everyone takes a 30 year loan = 15 x 2.6 = 39% return = $15.6 Billion
Trickle economics at its worst, i say.
how many people can 1000 blocks made this way, house?
5(people/household) x 10(units per floor) x 20(floors) x 1000(blocks) =
200,000 couples or 1,000,000 people
So, potentially, our next $45-55 Billion in unjustly created 'profits' from retailing housing, this 'wealth' is coming from increasing population, and its no wonder why government conveniently thinks that way. How dark the con of man.
with 200,000 working couples earning $50k per household, collecting $10k per year:
in 30 years, you collect 300k in CPF monies per household.
200,000 households = $60 billion in CPF.
So the next 105-115 Billion over the next 30 years has already been made. you're fully in team 'Treason' now. Governance becomes easy. Blame the people for not having children, import more foreign labour. Try as best you can to change your cash inflow and deter the outflow by playing with peggings and once again hedging against your own citizenry. Q.E.D, right?
===
Time to audit Public Housing I say, and not a moment too soon!
===
Think for a second, isn't this what we now have?
150k apartments sold for 300k / 400k / 500k. Why the need to push up prices? This is why.
we could have the next generation happily sowing the firm foundations of the greater future but instead they are mired in debt due to unnecessary inflated prices that make you unwillingly COMMIT to then paying even more INTEREST on. Total allocation of resource failure imo.
The cost savings of charging at cost is tremendous:
(this, I reiterate, should already be the status quo but isn't)
So, for a unit sold @:
200k : Savings = 50k (direct profit) + 80k (interest on 300k over 30yrs) = 130k saved.
300k : Savings = 150k (direct profit) + 120k (interest on 300k over 30yrs) = 270k saved.
400k : Savings = 250k (direct profit) + 160k (interest on 400k over 30yrs) = 410k saved.
500k : Savings = 350k (direct profit) + 200k (interest on 400k over 30yrs) = 550k saved.
Presuming that 1 parent earns around 30k / year, that would translate to:
200k : 130k saved / 30k = 4 years 4 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
300k : 270k saved / 30k = 9 years 0 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
400k : 410k saved / 30k = 13 years 8 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
500k : 550k saved / 30k = 18 years 4 months of prospective wage needing to be earned.
===
If we're as hyped up about increasing population, then we should be making it as scalable for couples as we can to both marry young, and at that end, increase the utility of child bearing years for a couple, we should be making things EASIER not HARDER, silly.
just taking the 300k-400k example.
(This incidentally is the more common situation most people find themselves in)
===
You can pretty much have 1 parent fully devote his/her time raising the kids, and have 9 - 13 full years doing family planning wholeheartedly, whilst still being able to 'economize' themselves in other endeavours, like self-education, cottage industry(baking/cooking), tuition, providing childcare services to your neighbours and so forth.
The idea is that instead of focusing on making money, we're focusing on meeting each others' needs. Can you imagine if this culture extends forth on a national level? What a marvel it will be, supplementing our needs as a country, and as countrymen!
10 years, my friends, 10 whole years!
Couples who marry at 20 have easily until 30 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
Couples who marry at 25 have easily until 35 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
Couples who marry at 30 still have easily until 40 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
Oh my, even couples who marry at 35 have until 45 to build a family with only 1 working parent.
(last example not so easy, biological clock me thinks, but nevertheless...)
Recipe for high birth rates? No outstanding loans. Even if there were a loan, interest rates must not and cannot undo couple's level of financial security and erode their savings.
Reducing societies need to rely on asset appreciation that will make us feel rich now on the backs of the next generation, that will ultimately mortgage their future for what will soon be considered unattainable 'past prosperity' in the near future.
The moment a government starts to fall into a web of self deceit and is complacent to the point that it knows it cannot guaranty future events and stability, the more it should not hedge its citizenry's future positions for you moult instead, into a government that gets distracted by profits instead of its rightful KPI: that of public service, rather, government slowly but surely evolves into a corporatocracy instead.
I feel this incessant pursuit, initially earnest and steadfast, is made perverse into a pursuit of delusions of grandeur where the few live so large for so long, at the expense of the many, who are left wanting.
Soon i shall write about the divider effect that in my opinion triumphs the misunderstood and misappropriated concept of the multiplier effect.
March 02, 2013
Enchanté, comrade!
Enchanté, Andrew.
Did you know that even in the states there are people who have to work in places of visual pleasure to pay off their huge college debts. They speak perfect English as well.
Alcoholics who physically harm their spouses are not characteristic of (All of China minus Beijing minus Shanghai). I think that perspective can be moderated to include everyone everywhere, regardless of creed/skin/religion.
You mention about "communism", "poverty", "overpopulation" and "upbringing", and you mention that you do not "judge" them as you have "been" there many times. I have to agree with you there. Better to reserve your opinions about them based on your life experience.
Having "been" there, and being the intellectual, prudent, patient, empathetic person you are, you would have come to the epiphany that these are circumstantial factors.
Let me share where i think you have been to. You've been to one of the many places on Earth that have harsher environmental/circumstantial factors than what you are now likely accustomed to. But the test for today does not hinge on the many other possibilities of all that.
What you are opinionated about, in actuality, is the human condition responding and adapting to those factors. Some of that is nature, some of that is nurture. Not everyone responds the same way. Attributing why, and coming to the conclusion that it is (as i gather, from your opinion) racial or genetic, is a cop out.
Its a convenient excuse for one to pile their foundation of hatred / prejudice / unacceptance into their psyche and it is dangerous. Sooner than later, you subconciously allow crystalisation of fear / intolerance / angst / vindication / rage.
There have been people who have risen to power and shown the world the depths of depravity and abuse those negative festering feelings can inflict onto everyone else.
Have you been acquainted with Hitler?
Rage multiplied exponentially with power can lead to terrible atrocities that are needlessly painful for everyone else.
It will not matter if you do the nasty with 20, 200 or 2000. Accented English is likely a poor criteria to judge any human being. How would you go about judging a group of deaf or/and blind people? Hope the point I am trying to put forth is made.
People do make mistakes, but not everyone learns the lesson, so history may repeat itself until the opportunity is taken.
Take care! ^_^
Did you know that even in the states there are people who have to work in places of visual pleasure to pay off their huge college debts. They speak perfect English as well.
Alcoholics who physically harm their spouses are not characteristic of (All of China minus Beijing minus Shanghai). I think that perspective can be moderated to include everyone everywhere, regardless of creed/skin/religion.
You mention about "communism", "poverty", "overpopulation" and "upbringing", and you mention that you do not "judge" them as you have "been" there many times. I have to agree with you there. Better to reserve your opinions about them based on your life experience.
Having "been" there, and being the intellectual, prudent, patient, empathetic person you are, you would have come to the epiphany that these are circumstantial factors.
Let me share where i think you have been to. You've been to one of the many places on Earth that have harsher environmental/circumstantial factors than what you are now likely accustomed to. But the test for today does not hinge on the many other possibilities of all that.
What you are opinionated about, in actuality, is the human condition responding and adapting to those factors. Some of that is nature, some of that is nurture. Not everyone responds the same way. Attributing why, and coming to the conclusion that it is (as i gather, from your opinion) racial or genetic, is a cop out.
Its a convenient excuse for one to pile their foundation of hatred / prejudice / unacceptance into their psyche and it is dangerous. Sooner than later, you subconciously allow crystalisation of fear / intolerance / angst / vindication / rage.
There have been people who have risen to power and shown the world the depths of depravity and abuse those negative festering feelings can inflict onto everyone else.
Have you been acquainted with Hitler?
Rage multiplied exponentially with power can lead to terrible atrocities that are needlessly painful for everyone else.
It will not matter if you do the nasty with 20, 200 or 2000. Accented English is likely a poor criteria to judge any human being. How would you go about judging a group of deaf or/and blind people? Hope the point I am trying to put forth is made.
People do make mistakes, but not everyone learns the lesson, so history may repeat itself until the opportunity is taken.
Take care! ^_^
February 19, 2013
Blind Assuage
6.9 million in 2030.
that's easily:
7.0 million in 2031
8.0 million in 2041
9.0 million in 2051
How different is 'a worst case scenario' from a pretty horrid best case scenario?
I shall boldly infer a 'best' case scenario being:
6.5 million in 2031 (or 6 million)
7.5 million in 2041 (or 7 million)
8.5 million in 2051 (or 8 million)
(projections if you happen to be a blind optimist)
this isn't give me liberty of give me death.
this is more like give me stage 4 cancer or give me death.
call a spade a spade.
call a flood a flood. (not ponding)
call a crowd a crowd. (3000 - 4000 is not 'a handful')
call a lack of planning and unexamined assumptions and landed egos as blunders.
not glorify consistent blunders as examining experience, blame nature, and prod the people when you paint yourselves into a corner
those who have had enough, kee chiu!
February 18, 2013
Paint.
Let me paint you a picture of a future Singapore.
Lets assume we take in 100k foreigners and turn them into citizens every year for the next 30 years.
Thats 3 million people supposedly able to earn their own incomes.
Their present financial status isn't so much in question.
Lets run on them coming here from the ages of 25-30.
They return to wherever they hail from after 30 years to enjoy retirement after their children are grown up@ ages 55-60 or whenever they are done with their loans.
Conservative estimate of 1 million couples who eventually get hitched to each other and purchase property in Singapore. (blind estimate that all married couples, comprising of 2/3 foreigners that get offered citizenships, end up getting homes here)
So they run with our current system, take 30 year loans like everyone else.
Buy their flats for 250k-500k, and after 30 years of inflation, sell them eventually at 1 million dollars, revoke their citizens en mass after they sell their apartments.
(What can we then do? Preventive legislation? What a faux pas that would be.)
1 million households with 2-4 kids uprooting themselves and going home.
1 million x 1 million means we'll have to fork out 1 trillion dollars.
Would their mother countries refuse them entry after they return as legit millionaires?
I highly doubt it.
What use have we for 1 million abandoned homes?
With such a surplus in the housing market, everyone else's housing prices plummet as well.
Nothing can really stop this nosedive.
Can't see something that yet might. And the horizon looks pretty bleak for a long while yet.
Even with a conservative estimate of 700k per home thats still 700 billion of direct loss out of national coffers to potential sellers.
(if there won't be many buyers except the government again, these new citizens will start getting angry because they will feel led on, and rightly so they were)
Yay we are further made broke especially when we have to buy back homes so that buyers can liquidate their capital and extract it out of our ecosystem.
We're damned both ways.
Free scoops of insult to all that injury.
Help yourselves to unlimited helpings.
Just like that, the illusion of asset appreciation is shattered thus easily.
Haven't we learnt enough from Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae?
Don't we yet see the collective frailty of the conditionings of old?
(I didn't even factor in the CPF attritioned monies potentially lost yet)
In 1 generation this bubble will burst. When it does, oh the carnage it bringeth.
This isn't even about xenophobia.
I try loving people unconditionally but this is something else.
(Think Frankenstein's monster on steroids and genetically engineered to lactate and lay eggs)
Stop using it as some knee-jerk reflex against those who aren't passive about their patriotism, please.
We're all in collective wok of boiling oil. And things are about to get extra crispy.
Condolences to those who take sky high loans when the bubble bursts soon after.
Suffering without pain thresholds.
Bleeding without blood shed.
It is still not too late to turn this around, but we are definitely running out of time, and options.
Otherwise its pretty much checkmate.
Game set match.
Godspeed, everyone.
Lets assume we take in 100k foreigners and turn them into citizens every year for the next 30 years.
Thats 3 million people supposedly able to earn their own incomes.
Their present financial status isn't so much in question.
Lets run on them coming here from the ages of 25-30.
They return to wherever they hail from after 30 years to enjoy retirement after their children are grown up@ ages 55-60 or whenever they are done with their loans.
Conservative estimate of 1 million couples who eventually get hitched to each other and purchase property in Singapore. (blind estimate that all married couples, comprising of 2/3 foreigners that get offered citizenships, end up getting homes here)
So they run with our current system, take 30 year loans like everyone else.
Buy their flats for 250k-500k, and after 30 years of inflation, sell them eventually at 1 million dollars, revoke their citizens en mass after they sell their apartments.
(What can we then do? Preventive legislation? What a faux pas that would be.)
1 million households with 2-4 kids uprooting themselves and going home.
1 million x 1 million means we'll have to fork out 1 trillion dollars.
Would their mother countries refuse them entry after they return as legit millionaires?
I highly doubt it.
What use have we for 1 million abandoned homes?
With such a surplus in the housing market, everyone else's housing prices plummet as well.
Nothing can really stop this nosedive.
Can't see something that yet might. And the horizon looks pretty bleak for a long while yet.
Even with a conservative estimate of 700k per home thats still 700 billion of direct loss out of national coffers to potential sellers.
(if there won't be many buyers except the government again, these new citizens will start getting angry because they will feel led on, and rightly so they were)
Yay we are further made broke especially when we have to buy back homes so that buyers can liquidate their capital and extract it out of our ecosystem.
We're damned both ways.
Free scoops of insult to all that injury.
Help yourselves to unlimited helpings.
Just like that, the illusion of asset appreciation is shattered thus easily.
Haven't we learnt enough from Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae?
Don't we yet see the collective frailty of the conditionings of old?
(I didn't even factor in the CPF attritioned monies potentially lost yet)
In 1 generation this bubble will burst. When it does, oh the carnage it bringeth.
This isn't even about xenophobia.
I try loving people unconditionally but this is something else.
(Think Frankenstein's monster on steroids and genetically engineered to lactate and lay eggs)
Stop using it as some knee-jerk reflex against those who aren't passive about their patriotism, please.
We're all in collective wok of boiling oil. And things are about to get extra crispy.
Condolences to those who take sky high loans when the bubble bursts soon after.
Suffering without pain thresholds.
Bleeding without blood shed.
It is still not too late to turn this around, but we are definitely running out of time, and options.
Otherwise its pretty much checkmate.
Game set match.
Godspeed, everyone.
August 11, 2012
-_____________________-
This is weird. Havent written in awhile, and since its 4am and i'm in the mood of things maybe i should be that keyboard warrior inside all of us, verbalising outrages of our souls somehow.
So i got off the phone with a random person who i think might still be in the matrix of existence. i.e. we are the proverbial frogs in the proverbial wells we all deem ourselves to be in (or not).
What i was trying to do was to explain the broken monetary system we have... the problem with interest... the problem with people in power deciding how to 'invest' money in all the wrong ways. Do these people who carry out all this toxic investment still foolishly justify their speculations with 'serving' the people i wonder. I was also trying to explain the problem with 'interest' and how its in some ways structured poverty borne from the vilest malicious minds.
What was i trying to do? Change the world? or by revealing my own version of the truth i think it validates me somehow? maybe so. still gona keep hunting rabbits down that rabbit hole i guess. this puppetry of society will only bring us all suffering and needless pain. do these people who throw themselves in positions of power realise that? or are they too blinded in some version of indulgent naivete? one can only wonder...
Let me collect my thoughts and present my own findings soon.
So i got off the phone with a random person who i think might still be in the matrix of existence. i.e. we are the proverbial frogs in the proverbial wells we all deem ourselves to be in (or not).
What i was trying to do was to explain the broken monetary system we have... the problem with interest... the problem with people in power deciding how to 'invest' money in all the wrong ways. Do these people who carry out all this toxic investment still foolishly justify their speculations with 'serving' the people i wonder. I was also trying to explain the problem with 'interest' and how its in some ways structured poverty borne from the vilest malicious minds.
What was i trying to do? Change the world? or by revealing my own version of the truth i think it validates me somehow? maybe so. still gona keep hunting rabbits down that rabbit hole i guess. this puppetry of society will only bring us all suffering and needless pain. do these people who throw themselves in positions of power realise that? or are they too blinded in some version of indulgent naivete? one can only wonder...
Let me collect my thoughts and present my own findings soon.
March 17, 2012
Effervescence
I'm sorta back. Will post more once i figure out how to embed a youtube song in loop thats pauseable lmao.
January 16, 2012
May 11, 2011
Rawr means i love you Chiam! (in dinosaurish)
Well, little other known facts throughout the course of Chiam's mandate.
PAP losing election 1: NTUC taken away (its okay we don't need them anyway =)
PAP losing election 2: POSB branch taken away (its okay we save more money =)
PAP losing election 3: Reroute bus service 147 so that it does not feeder past Potong Pasir anymore. (Service 147 used to feeder from Hougang to Potong Pasir, like how 142 feeders around Toa Payoh and Potong Pasir)
PAP losing election 4: Right after the threats of no upgrading of HDB nor its lifts (wax lyrical much, PAP?)
PAP losing election 5: After GST was hiked, cost of living being too high and wages not proportioning to the people's equity. As righteous a response the people of Potong Pasir could have held true to.
PAP winning election 6: After the people who decided in their 30s they didnt need your stinking lifts... they are in their 60s now thanks to the long awaited political epiphany of the rest of Singapore (i call this virgin democratic lag). You were lucky to take us with your measly 78 votes and crawl past the legendary leader we have had all these years. (Chiam for President!)
For your vehemence and maliciousness, you have fused the hearts of the people of Potong Pasir. 7 coffeeshops and 5 minimarts have sprouted to accomodate the Estate's needs. We have a furniture store, bicycle kiosks, spectacle shops, handphone shops, 8 hair saloons, an aquarium, 4 tuition agencies, 2 music/dance schools, a daycare centre, 3 handyman DIY stores, 2 bakeries and 3 chinese medical halls, 5 GP clinics and plenty of HEART to go around. NONE of which are thanks to PAP, ever.
In typical PAP pettiness, you had to dispute whether or not to name the MRT station built right in our estate zone "Potong Pasir" or "Senett Estate" after all that you're done.
Then you throw obstacles in Chiam's way when he tried to fully fund Sheltered Walkways from the MRT to the nearest HDB walkways and make it difficult for him to use the saved up conservancy fee for the huge lift project he had by implementing your silly 10% Sink Fund rule: 10% of town council funds MAX can be used at any one time for any project subject to PAP approval, [dear PAP, wtf? its not even your money]
Unlike the previously reported sink funds of town councils like Sembawang that have excesses of a few billion dollars with fund managers trying to roll your money, the prudent Potong Pasir estate has a measly amount.
For someone like Chiam who needed a better bid for his lift project, that 10% rule basically stops him from executing anything unless you elitists approve, but i guess hedge funds, blue chips and commodities trading has the seal of your wanton approval.
Come 2016, you shall witness vindication of our Kampong Potong Pasir pride, for you have done NOTHING in these 27 years that deems you worthy as Chiam's equal nor you worthy of redemption as you wax richer and more depraved each day.
The brilliance of his soul and ours tramples you underfoot as it shall once again.
Looks like the only freak election result for GE 2011 is Potong Pasir.
Singapore, whats taking you so long to achieve political rapture?
January 02, 2010
Consumerism saves the day
Okay so i got yelled at for being a nice guy and letting someone use the pc i bought for charmaine, BIG DEAL. i got her a laptop didnt i? laptop spoil then I FIX LA. cannot wait isit? In the mean time since we're all so calculative, then gimme back the laptop i gave YOUR friends. now now, no, no later, NOW!
Everything has to end with a victor why u not success yet victor why things break down victor why u cannot fix it now victor why you talk to me like that victor why do your parents blame you for everything but themselves dont wana level up and channel levelled up attributes properly so their hero doesnt suck.
i found the solution. <-- go me!
BUY NEW CLOSET NOW NOW.
okay so i have this theory aeons ago... my dad started sleeping in the living room and he 'gave' me his closet. since that episode my mum had to move ONE CLOSET full of 1975 fashion and accessories out and dump in all around any available crevice in her room so my dad can use the supposedly spare closet. SO if i get a new closet:
1. i can get vintage and pungent closet out of my room and into the balcony...
2. my dad can get his stuff out and use back his old closet from 1975 and its a bigger closet, so...
3. my mum can have back her personal space and clean up her room... meaning that...
4. territory lines in my house are redrawn.... so like in romance of the three kingdoms...
5. wei(father) wu(mother) and shu(me) territories are satisfied and wont be left wanting.
NEW closet bonuses: (stacked)
1. new closet is definitely cooler.
2. its smaller and more functional and compact.
3. it has a mirror so i can see my ugly self everyday and hopefully talk down to myself in the mirror enough to do more weights and situps and pushups and look good and momentumise that to have a good thing going and get married to some hot bimbo and have 300 kids so i can look at my 300 and go THISSS ISSS AWESOMEEEEEE, (then i ask who's your daddy and enjoy the warcry)
4. with more space i can throw in another bed. dunno for what though. maybe dating then can bring girls home(i wish) and if wishes come true... i will have the capacity to accomodate! since capacity to accomodate > dreams coming true, and are also awesome precursors to facilitate that.
5. i can finally do up charmaine's com too. (subplot can be acheived because i'm finally more organised)
SO...
if all the problems in the world can be slowly mitigate by consumerism so be it. i shall spend time and money and energy into making home awesome but still threaten to move out if the parents keep using the same stale stinko lines at me which include and encompass, but are not restricted to the following:- (rebuttals in brackets)
WHO BUY ONE
(nbcb u buy one big fark isit limpeh can buy erso)
WHY YOU NOT SUCCESS YET
(cos u all arent and i spent all my money on people we love so we're the same)
WHY YOU SO GENEROUS U VERY RICH ISIT
(i'm generous and rich thats why i can pay the electricity and internet and cable bills and buy u stuff like a new TEEVEE and COMPUTER and it goes to the home anyway and besides its an awesome way to keep positive channeling fortune coming in)
WHY U NEVER COME HOME
(cos i sleep over at girls house cannot isit, okay next time i bring girls home u want?)
[note to self: must buy another bed before pulling this stunt, so it doesnt backfire]
WHY U NEVER BUY THINGS FOR THE HOUSE
(cos the fridge is in chaotic pandemonium, like ground zero but temperature almost zero also, hey... victor why u have a fridge in your room...)
I feel like Liubei finally getting a Kongming grapple on things. Just don't think too far cos all of u know how shu guo ended. So i have to get married and move out before that, and sidestep the decline period.
Everything has to end with a victor why u not success yet victor why things break down victor why u cannot fix it now victor why you talk to me like that victor why do your parents blame you for everything but themselves dont wana level up and channel levelled up attributes properly so their hero doesnt suck.
i found the solution. <-- go me!
BUY NEW CLOSET NOW NOW.
okay so i have this theory aeons ago... my dad started sleeping in the living room and he 'gave' me his closet. since that episode my mum had to move ONE CLOSET full of 1975 fashion and accessories out and dump in all around any available crevice in her room so my dad can use the supposedly spare closet. SO if i get a new closet:
1. i can get vintage and pungent closet out of my room and into the balcony...
2. my dad can get his stuff out and use back his old closet from 1975 and its a bigger closet, so...
3. my mum can have back her personal space and clean up her room... meaning that...
4. territory lines in my house are redrawn.... so like in romance of the three kingdoms...
5. wei(father) wu(mother) and shu(me) territories are satisfied and wont be left wanting.
NEW closet bonuses: (stacked)
1. new closet is definitely cooler.
2. its smaller and more functional and compact.
3. it has a mirror so i can see my ugly self everyday and hopefully talk down to myself in the mirror enough to do more weights and situps and pushups and look good and momentumise that to have a good thing going and get married to some hot bimbo and have 300 kids so i can look at my 300 and go THISSS ISSS AWESOMEEEEEE, (then i ask who's your daddy and enjoy the warcry)
4. with more space i can throw in another bed. dunno for what though. maybe dating then can bring girls home(i wish) and if wishes come true... i will have the capacity to accomodate! since capacity to accomodate > dreams coming true, and are also awesome precursors to facilitate that.
5. i can finally do up charmaine's com too. (subplot can be acheived because i'm finally more organised)
SO...
if all the problems in the world can be slowly mitigate by consumerism so be it. i shall spend time and money and energy into making home awesome but still threaten to move out if the parents keep using the same stale stinko lines at me which include and encompass, but are not restricted to the following:- (rebuttals in brackets)
WHO BUY ONE
(nbcb u buy one big fark isit limpeh can buy erso)
WHY YOU NOT SUCCESS YET
(cos u all arent and i spent all my money on people we love so we're the same)
WHY YOU SO GENEROUS U VERY RICH ISIT
(i'm generous and rich thats why i can pay the electricity and internet and cable bills and buy u stuff like a new TEEVEE and COMPUTER and it goes to the home anyway and besides its an awesome way to keep positive channeling fortune coming in)
WHY U NEVER COME HOME
(cos i sleep over at girls house cannot isit, okay next time i bring girls home u want?)
[note to self: must buy another bed before pulling this stunt, so it doesnt backfire]
WHY U NEVER BUY THINGS FOR THE HOUSE
(cos the fridge is in chaotic pandemonium, like ground zero but temperature almost zero also, hey... victor why u have a fridge in your room...)
I feel like Liubei finally getting a Kongming grapple on things. Just don't think too far cos all of u know how shu guo ended. So i have to get married and move out before that, and sidestep the decline period.
October 17, 2009
Volatility.
My grandmother just had a heart attack 3 days ago. But she's fine now.
Life's so hard and volatile i've decided that few things matter as much. This isn't about where we end up in the afterlife but its silly for me to be passive aggressive most of the time like some trigger explosive, with that i would like to resolve to be a nicer person, more accepting of people and their ways even if this isn't reciprocated. I'm far from perfect myself and have too long a way to go to even begin criticizing others
Another thing happened in between this period while we were a bunch of co-workers playing dota after work. I hadn't known i was playing a game with actual people in the room and i was a little short tempered, making unneccesary comments about the people playing together with me in the same room. As you can guess i had to end up apologising profusely and i had no other option but to humble myself even when they said it was alright.
This brings me to question all of us. What's really important? I think i have a few misconceptions i would like to rectify and re-configure before i have a heart attack myself.
At the end of all our mortal phases here, when all your friends and even enemies sit around talking about you, how you live, how you died et al, truths will prevail. Misunderstandings will clear up, its like a proverbial weighing scale of sorts albeit no they dont decide where u do go in your afterlife however they are and will continue to be a good indicator.
Resolving to change, i shall.
Life's so hard and volatile i've decided that few things matter as much. This isn't about where we end up in the afterlife but its silly for me to be passive aggressive most of the time like some trigger explosive, with that i would like to resolve to be a nicer person, more accepting of people and their ways even if this isn't reciprocated. I'm far from perfect myself and have too long a way to go to even begin criticizing others
Another thing happened in between this period while we were a bunch of co-workers playing dota after work. I hadn't known i was playing a game with actual people in the room and i was a little short tempered, making unneccesary comments about the people playing together with me in the same room. As you can guess i had to end up apologising profusely and i had no other option but to humble myself even when they said it was alright.
This brings me to question all of us. What's really important? I think i have a few misconceptions i would like to rectify and re-configure before i have a heart attack myself.
At the end of all our mortal phases here, when all your friends and even enemies sit around talking about you, how you live, how you died et al, truths will prevail. Misunderstandings will clear up, its like a proverbial weighing scale of sorts albeit no they dont decide where u do go in your afterlife however they are and will continue to be a good indicator.
Resolving to change, i shall.
July 15, 2009
Emolia.
"When you know whatever u say, wont get through."
dont talk like u have the unique ability of listening.
"When you know that even those closest have given up and are just playing nice."
again, talk after you've actually done something remotely close.
"When you know that you can't change the fucked up in people."
or miss the fucked up in thyself.
"You just give up like the rest of the world."
someone needs to stop emoing and start comprehending.
"The world is always wrong. Everyone is at fault. Everyone wakes up at 4 pm and cleans your pee bottle for you, cos everyone has too."
yea and silly me helped someone who i believe totally is undeserving of help move house. go me.
"You meant this much ( a post), and be gone. Cos money is all that need to pay you off, apparently."
some people just never bother looking at themselves and wonder if they were the root cause of problems to begin with, ever. once the dust settles, you'll come to realise you embody collateral damage wherever u go.
thats my problem. i'm always fucking extra. see where it lands me.
dont talk like u have the unique ability of listening.
"When you know that even those closest have given up and are just playing nice."
again, talk after you've actually done something remotely close.
"When you know that you can't change the fucked up in people."
or miss the fucked up in thyself.
"You just give up like the rest of the world."
someone needs to stop emoing and start comprehending.
"The world is always wrong. Everyone is at fault. Everyone wakes up at 4 pm and cleans your pee bottle for you, cos everyone has too."
yea and silly me helped someone who i believe totally is undeserving of help move house. go me.
"You meant this much ( a post), and be gone. Cos money is all that need to pay you off, apparently."
some people just never bother looking at themselves and wonder if they were the root cause of problems to begin with, ever. once the dust settles, you'll come to realise you embody collateral damage wherever u go.
thats my problem. i'm always fucking extra. see where it lands me.
March 28, 2009
You Have Two Options.
---
1. Love Me
2. Leave Me
Hello!
Today is neither here nor there, just the day we went swimming. I guess the day before my appointment, too...
Heh. It seems so long ago that i paced the entire ground floor of HMV(nearly wearing out my shoes), going pass the mirror in that footwear shop 2139 times, waiting for you till the cows(and cowboy) went home. The 2 hour dinner at marche, your "do u know the difference between a meal and dinner?", the tour to meridian hotel, the walk back to dhoby ghaut, you sending me back home.
Haha... The fragmented memories of us meeting at Jurong East, going over to chinatown for fish porridge... Having fish porridge at my void deck. You coming over just to install warcraft. It seems like we've been thru so many things in ten short months. Hugs. Kisses. *censored* massages, quarrels and all.
Today was scary. It seemed to me you were dropping veiled hints/threats all day about no longer wanting me. Suddenly my heart got heavier, and it occurred to me that when one day you really get tired of me i should really get worried. Hahaha. Right now i'm not sure how to continue. But at least now i know how you feel whenever i mention a breakup.
Whenever i sit down to think about it, i think its quite amazing how you haven't requested for a breakup. Keeping in view the number of times i get cranky and (almost) impossibly unreasonable. You give in to me very often, and let me have my way, and the last word on most things. You shower me with roses, hugs, love and a whole lot of kisses. You dote on Kejun and Shaggy, and you travel alot. You put in alot of effort to not let me feel insecure, and you cook for me too. You massage me, tease me, play badminton with me, and invariably make me cantankerous.
The only thing i'm certain i give you is hard ons. Ugh. I'm sure i give you headaches and heartaches too...
Haha. You make me laugh alot too... and you let me lick your toes *yum* you also allow me to get rowr rowr at you...
Certainly you (unknowingly) give mesome a little bit . <<< this little bit of insecurity. and heartaches too. But nah. i'm not insecure, not over you. I trust you, a lot. You motivate me sometimes. make me procrastinate at other times. Sometimes you make me feel . <<< this much intelligent. argh. i cannot deal with you when you're bad-tempered, too.
Heh. Those are not excuses for me threatening to break-up, over and over again.
I'm pretty sure you're tired of my apologies, too.
Therefore i shan't say i'm sorry. (even though i am). Actions speak louder than words. I shall try my bestest to keep you till you decide i'm too much hassle, haha. In the meantime, i am sure we'd be able to overcome whatever obstacles that stand in our way, together. After all, we are more or less experienced. =)
From now till i become an old crone, you shall hafta continue tolerating my crankiness (which i will try to curb) while i shall go about learning how to deal with you.
I love you, Victor Chen. Don't give up hope on us yet.
Your Xiaowen. 18/11/2004
I suggest you take option 1 (My life depends on it.)
---
A letter found while cleaning my room today. One i am reading for the first time, in 2009.
Sometimes i really wonder how she is.
1. Love Me
2. Leave Me
Hello!
Today is neither here nor there, just the day we went swimming. I guess the day before my appointment, too...
Heh. It seems so long ago that i paced the entire ground floor of HMV(nearly wearing out my shoes), going pass the mirror in that footwear shop 2139 times, waiting for you till the cows(and cowboy) went home. The 2 hour dinner at marche, your "do u know the difference between a meal and dinner?", the tour to meridian hotel, the walk back to dhoby ghaut, you sending me back home.
Haha... The fragmented memories of us meeting at Jurong East, going over to chinatown for fish porridge... Having fish porridge at my void deck. You coming over just to install warcraft. It seems like we've been thru so many things in ten short months. Hugs. Kisses. *censored* massages, quarrels and all.
Today was scary. It seemed to me you were dropping veiled hints/threats all day about no longer wanting me. Suddenly my heart got heavier, and it occurred to me that when one day you really get tired of me i should really get worried. Hahaha. Right now i'm not sure how to continue. But at least now i know how you feel whenever i mention a breakup.
Whenever i sit down to think about it, i think its quite amazing how you haven't requested for a breakup. Keeping in view the number of times i get cranky and (almost) impossibly unreasonable. You give in to me very often, and let me have my way, and the last word on most things. You shower me with roses, hugs, love and a whole lot of kisses. You dote on Kejun and Shaggy, and you travel alot. You put in alot of effort to not let me feel insecure, and you cook for me too. You massage me, tease me, play badminton with me, and invariably make me cantankerous.
The only thing i'm certain i give you is hard ons. Ugh. I'm sure i give you headaches and heartaches too...
Haha. You make me laugh alot too... and you let me lick your toes *yum* you also allow me to get rowr rowr at you...
Certainly you (unknowingly) give me
Heh. Those are not excuses for me threatening to break-up, over and over again.
I'm pretty sure you're tired of my apologies, too.
Therefore i shan't say i'm sorry. (even though i am). Actions speak louder than words. I shall try my bestest to keep you till you decide i'm too much hassle, haha. In the meantime, i am sure we'd be able to overcome whatever obstacles that stand in our way, together. After all, we are more or less experienced. =)
From now till i become an old crone, you shall hafta continue tolerating my crankiness (which i will try to curb) while i shall go about learning how to deal with you.
I love you, Victor Chen. Don't give up hope on us yet.
Your Xiaowen. 18/11/2004
I suggest you take option 1 (My life depends on it.)
---
A letter found while cleaning my room today. One i am reading for the first time, in 2009.
Sometimes i really wonder how she is.
March 27, 2009
Pew Pew'ed.
When i get pew pew'ed 2 things happen.
Either i pew pew back or i take the shot and i quit the game.
GG.
Either i pew pew back or i take the shot and i quit the game.
GG.
March 15, 2009
Pew pew.
Rules:It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag twenty people.Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
1. What is your name : Victor
2. A four Letter Word : Vain
3. A boy's Name : Vincent
(next nearest V name people mistake me by)
4. A girl's Name : Vanessa
5. An occupation : Ventroloquist (only one left is Veterinarian)
6. A color : Violet
7. Something you'll wear : Vibrator (seriously? no. nuh uh. NEXT.)
9. A food : Venison (deer meat)
10. Something found in the bathroom: Ventilation
(If u dont already have it, get it. quick.)
11. A place : Venice
12. A reason for being late : Very ___
(fill in excuse, e.g. hot/long traffic jam/packed bus)
13. Something you'd shout : VENGEANCE! (RAWR)
14. A movie title : V for Vendetta (i know i'm good)
15. Something you drink : VODKA (thank you God.)
16. A musical group : Venga Boys (oldskool ftw)
17. An animal : Viper
18. A street name : Victoria Street
(hopefully her secrets are here too)
19. A type of car : Volkswagen (God is pwning this quiz.)
20. The title of a song : Viva la Vida - Coldplay (what can i say...)
Well i dont know where 8. went. Seems missing. Time to channel wit elsewere more productive.
1. What is your name : Victor
2. A four Letter Word : Vain
3. A boy's Name : Vincent
(next nearest V name people mistake me by)
4. A girl's Name : Vanessa
5. An occupation : Ventroloquist (only one left is Veterinarian)
6. A color : Violet
7. Something you'll wear : Vibrator (seriously? no. nuh uh. NEXT.)
9. A food : Venison (deer meat)
10. Something found in the bathroom: Ventilation
(If u dont already have it, get it. quick.)
11. A place : Venice
12. A reason for being late : Very ___
(fill in excuse, e.g. hot/long traffic jam/packed bus)
13. Something you'd shout : VENGEANCE! (RAWR)
14. A movie title : V for Vendetta (i know i'm good)
15. Something you drink : VODKA (thank you God.)
16. A musical group : Venga Boys (oldskool ftw)
17. An animal : Viper
18. A street name : Victoria Street
(hopefully her secrets are here too)
19. A type of car : Volkswagen (God is pwning this quiz.)
20. The title of a song : Viva la Vida - Coldplay (what can i say...)
Well i dont know where 8. went. Seems missing. Time to channel wit elsewere more productive.
February 20, 2009
Ghosts of the past cripple the present and inhibit our future
i love you too dad. sometimes its extremely hard to convey that. especially in a father son relationship. i know you've spent your whole life working hard and being very conservative be it money or perspective and you uphold values like piety, respect and responsibility very much.
i just want to say that be it me forgetting to wipe the bathroom after i bathe, or forgetting to close a window when i go out, it doesnt mean i want to convey arrogance or make u angry. sometimes i wonder why when i take expressive effort to angle something i say in a way that the 'arrogance' or 'disrespect' level is alot lower but you just let it go un-noticed. give me some credit for being able to make things come out the right way. please?
i dont think the world ends when mummy makes the house dirty. i dont think the world ends when charmaine is being annoying about dinner after she wakes up from oversleeping. the world also doesnt end when computers break down, or electrical appliances are accidentally left on, or fridge doors left open. i know these things may seem highly important, and yes, anyone can make a choice to come to the extremist conclusion that people are irresponsible/hopeless/useless/nuisances. whatever your choice turns out to be we're still family. and thats about the only conclusion that matters.
many a time its very easy to ask this useless irresponsible son of yours to shut up. having no place in the family to comment nor make observations. we all have versions of our own truths. we also like to beat down any idea that comes along the way. its easy to flaw a person and make character assasinations based on a person's opinion. but i personally dont believe thats in any way constructive to either parties nor the whole family unit. in a short space of time yes, we feel empowered being able to shut people out, and up, overtime people also learn that being treated like that is highly discouraging and stop seeking for approvals or counter opinions. at the end of a few years, thats how people stop communicating, or alot less, which isn't any better.
i admit i havent been the most tactful responsible hardworking dilligent disciplined favourite person. just by the previous sentence i hope i have expressed that i explicitly know what my flaws are, and where my motivational pitfalls lie. happiness isnt tolerance. it is not even a close substitute. happiness coexists with unplesantness, arguments, fights, screamings, tears, colorful language and some nights you just cant sleep peacefully. but that's precisely the whole beauty of life and family. god makes every weird family mix work out. even if it doesnt yet work out we stick to trying. we arent supposed to shut people out, nor avoid people completely. should that happen then they're bad signs. expressing one's self is highly important, i say that to all of us.
if charmaine needs to eat or buy her food alone, tell her. she's old enough and capable enough to get her own dinner or eat out with her friends. please dont say that 'telling people no use'. many things have to be repeated even if its sian or irritating to repeat. if you feel that providing for a daughter's dinner is essential to feel 'fatherly' then tell her that its something u do for her because you're her father, not her slave. do something often and people expect it all the time. its human nature because its convenient to let it be.
to charmaine: you're old enough to get your own dinner, please talk to daddy. try not doing anything which he will misunderstand to be you not being happy about dinner not being bought for you. knowing he isnt someone who expresses his emotions easily just make it easier for him. if its important people settle your dinner for you then save up pocket money and try paying for catering every day to the house just for one person. yes its stupid and a waste of money but at least it doesnt get anyone upset over a small matter.
the intention was never to paint a nice picture of myself. i have tonnes of flaws. if starting an email thread gets the resentment out and harmony in for everybody, i am all for it. just, please, make it constructive and cut out the self opinion additions and bad words out(to dad), be more articulate and precise about what u want to say, and state underlying emotions and motivations if any (for charmaine) and state all spontaneous decisions(to mummy)
Love,
Vic.
sure do hope i get a reply soon.
i just want to say that be it me forgetting to wipe the bathroom after i bathe, or forgetting to close a window when i go out, it doesnt mean i want to convey arrogance or make u angry. sometimes i wonder why when i take expressive effort to angle something i say in a way that the 'arrogance' or 'disrespect' level is alot lower but you just let it go un-noticed. give me some credit for being able to make things come out the right way. please?
i dont think the world ends when mummy makes the house dirty. i dont think the world ends when charmaine is being annoying about dinner after she wakes up from oversleeping. the world also doesnt end when computers break down, or electrical appliances are accidentally left on, or fridge doors left open. i know these things may seem highly important, and yes, anyone can make a choice to come to the extremist conclusion that people are irresponsible/hopeless/useless/nuisances. whatever your choice turns out to be we're still family. and thats about the only conclusion that matters.
many a time its very easy to ask this useless irresponsible son of yours to shut up. having no place in the family to comment nor make observations. we all have versions of our own truths. we also like to beat down any idea that comes along the way. its easy to flaw a person and make character assasinations based on a person's opinion. but i personally dont believe thats in any way constructive to either parties nor the whole family unit. in a short space of time yes, we feel empowered being able to shut people out, and up, overtime people also learn that being treated like that is highly discouraging and stop seeking for approvals or counter opinions. at the end of a few years, thats how people stop communicating, or alot less, which isn't any better.
i admit i havent been the most tactful responsible hardworking dilligent disciplined favourite person. just by the previous sentence i hope i have expressed that i explicitly know what my flaws are, and where my motivational pitfalls lie. happiness isnt tolerance. it is not even a close substitute. happiness coexists with unplesantness, arguments, fights, screamings, tears, colorful language and some nights you just cant sleep peacefully. but that's precisely the whole beauty of life and family. god makes every weird family mix work out. even if it doesnt yet work out we stick to trying. we arent supposed to shut people out, nor avoid people completely. should that happen then they're bad signs. expressing one's self is highly important, i say that to all of us.
if charmaine needs to eat or buy her food alone, tell her. she's old enough and capable enough to get her own dinner or eat out with her friends. please dont say that 'telling people no use'. many things have to be repeated even if its sian or irritating to repeat. if you feel that providing for a daughter's dinner is essential to feel 'fatherly' then tell her that its something u do for her because you're her father, not her slave. do something often and people expect it all the time. its human nature because its convenient to let it be.
to charmaine: you're old enough to get your own dinner, please talk to daddy. try not doing anything which he will misunderstand to be you not being happy about dinner not being bought for you. knowing he isnt someone who expresses his emotions easily just make it easier for him. if its important people settle your dinner for you then save up pocket money and try paying for catering every day to the house just for one person. yes its stupid and a waste of money but at least it doesnt get anyone upset over a small matter.
the intention was never to paint a nice picture of myself. i have tonnes of flaws. if starting an email thread gets the resentment out and harmony in for everybody, i am all for it. just, please, make it constructive and cut out the self opinion additions and bad words out(to dad), be more articulate and precise about what u want to say, and state underlying emotions and motivations if any (for charmaine) and state all spontaneous decisions(to mummy)
Love,
Vic.
sure do hope i get a reply soon.
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